The Ballad of The Cereal Kid

by Erika Solberg

Today at approximately 12:30 p.m., Danilo Mendoza broke Stuart Kernohan’s VAMPY record by consuming 101 bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. For earlier reports, see here and here. We dedicate the following to this momentous occasion.

The Ballad of the Cereal Kid

Fresh Foods is filled with hungry teens
Who pause their chomps and chews
To watch Danilo’s final bowls —
The title’s his to lose.

“One-hundred-one!” the campers chant.
They eye the metal spoon
That holds the final milky piece
Foretold this VAMPY June.

He eats the bite! The crowd all claps!
The Cereal Kid’s the winner!
The champion sighs, “I’m done with Crunch.
It’s cheeseburgers for dinner.”


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